Jan 05 2009
Why Chuck E Cheese serves beer….
My sisters are jealous that Chuck E Cheese in my town serves beer.
“What’s up with the dry Chuck E Cheeses?” They ask.
“I mean, how do you get your husband to come to a birthday party with a bunch of 5 year olds and lots of loud video games?”
“If you pour it they will come.”
I laugh, knowing that most of the time when I go to Chuck E Cheese I tell people it’s because their salad bar is a great value and the pizza isn’t that bad. Honestly, it’s because they do sell beer.
I don’t know if there is logic or insanity to serve alcohol at a Chuck E Cheese. on Earth” the first place I hit on the way out was a bar, and I didn’t have to go far. There are smart entrepreneurs out there, the first bar was right outside the gates of the “Happiest Place On Earth.” The only thing missing from the bar was a playground for the children, then I could really relax!
Disneyworld is dry. How can they call it the “Happiest Place On Earth” if they don’t sell beer? All the adults know this from the sucked on a tree full of lemons look at the gates waiting for the park to open. I took my two boys to
Disneyworld by myself and after a full day at the “
Happiest Place
Busch
Gardens is a case in smart marketing. Our family always took a yearly trip to
Busch
Gardens. The children would arrive excited about all the great rides and betting each other how many times we’d ride the Cobra rollercoaster. Mom would take the kids around to the different rides while Dad would scope out the beer. That’s right;
Busch
Gardens was smart enough to trap Dad in a place with whining children and noisy rides but offer free beer. Of course the park is owned by a beer manufacturer. My Dad scoped out the free beer place before we entered the gates. He’d go over and they’d allow one free beer per person, so he’d get his free beer. He’d go and walk us around a few rides until the bartending shift changed they back again for another free beer. Sometimes, he’d get in different lines with different bartenders to get the free beer. Ahhh, a smart park that helped parents cope with their children. He’d begrudgingly go to
Hershey
Park for the free Hershey Kisses but he never missed a trip to
Busch
Gardens.
Then there was
Cypress
Gardens with my parents and grandmother. We spend most of the morning at the park, arguing, getting into trouble, whining until with a sigh (knowing that beer was served in the restaurant) my father announced that it was time for lunch. The beer wasn’t free at
Cypress
Gardens, in fact it was pretty expensive. I don’t remember the price but remember that it was in tall plastic cups so probably 16oz each. My father got the beers for my mother and grandmother and was sitting down at the table to relax as my Mom came to the table with a plastic tray that held 4 large sodas for us. My brother, excited about the prospect of sugar and carbonation grabbed his soda first off the tray. Needless to say, my mother looked like that person at the top of the steps on
, right before they fell. The sodas teetered on the tray as it went from side to side. We all tried to grab something as my mother worked to right the tray. One soda fell and soaked all the hamburgers. Another fell right into the French Fries. My Dad watched quietly until one of the sodas fell off the tray right into his beer. Then he got mad.
Doesn’t on Earth” was dry. I did see a few parents crying in relief when they realized that Disney Hollywood Studios offered beer. We don’t care what it cost, that was one line I’ll wait in.
Disneyworld realize that not serving beer means that many a Dad will boycott the place? Children will not have someone to cry to when they loose 5 bucks in the claw trying to get that Buzz Lightyear stuffed doll. They won’t have someone to stand and hold all the souvenirs while Mom drags the kids to the bathroom. They won’t have someone to provide the shoulders to sit on for the parade to see if the “Power Rangers are really real!” How do they expect parents to go through a day of being “happy” with the kids without some type of reward half way through? Do they think it keeps children safe? It’s not because most parents are weaving in and out of traffic trying to get to that restaurant that offers chicken tenders for under 26.99 along with an ice cold drink. Epcot had bars and restaurants around the world, Disney Hollywood Studios had beer but the “
Happiest Place
They make us sell bone marrow to get in. Then we pay over 50 bucks for two hamburgers, French Fries and a glass of water (Of course we had to “upgrade” to the souvenir cup for the water). We shell out over 100 bucks a ride to get souvenirs because each ride had what I called the “gauntlet”, you had to get through a gift shop to exit the ride. We pay the parking fees, the stroller rentals, the bathroom fees, the picture fees, but we’re not rewarded with anything adults like.
Which brings me back to Chuck E Cheese. They knew better. They know that Dad makes all the financial decisions in the family so getting Dad into Chuck E Cheese is important. One way, other than a room for Dads that has the Cone of Silence , is to serve beer. Chuck E Cheese can hold the honor of a “Place Where A Kid Can Be A Kid” and the adults can watch and enjoy themselves too. Moms spend a crazy amount on pizza and salad bar then get a second mortgage to cover all the tokens required to get the SpongeBob journal complete with a Patrick pen. Dads take all this in stride because our Chuck E Cheese chooses to serve beer.
